Week 3 Update: Getting past the first of many hurdles

So I think I’ve hit the point where the # on the scale isn’t dropping as drastically as in the beginning. To say that this wasn't a little discouraging would be far from the truth because it’s hard to not see that number go down as quickly as it did during the first two weeks. It’s hard to keep motivated when you don’t see the results that you want when you want to see them, but what’s keeping me going is knowing that it’s also at this point that in the past I’ve given up. When I've come to that first wall the little voice in my head would say “see I told you that you COULDN’T do it” and my constant go-to train of thought was “well I tried really hard for 2 weeks and now that the changes stopped so it’s obvious I can't do better and I’m just meant to be this way but at least I tried" or “Emily your overweight, you’ll always be overweight, so just embrace it….here have a cookie and celebrate being YOU!”…. those were the thoughts that have lead me to where I am now. Thoughts that helped me dig myself deeper into this hole. 

With this whole body-positive movement going on now it’s easy to just settle, to just accept that this is how I am and it is what it is…but in all seriousness thats a really dangerous mindset. Now please don’t get me wrong we all come in different shapes, different sizes, different everything and there’s nothing wrong with that, you should love your body and be confident in your own skin and definitely not be ashamed of it, but I think this whole “body positive” movement can be misconstrued and misinterpreted very quickly. Again let me preface this by saying there is NOTHING wrong with loving your body shape and being confident in who you are and what you look like, kudos to everyone who is happy with their bodies and can appreciate the blessing that it is! Everyone is beautiful in their own way and that means no matter what body type you have, how tall, short, thin, chubby, curvy you may be there should never be anyone who makes you feel that you aren’t good enough or beautiful enough, that type of negativity has no place being in your mind. So please don’t get me wrong I’m not anti-body-positive movement at all…just I think it can sometimes lead to some very unhealthy habits, and thats what it did for me, rather than empower me it gave me an easy out...

Now clearly im not considered the most fit person, but I'm working on this and yes I have a long road ahead of me but in the past I have personally taken the idea of being “body positive” and used it as an excuse and its when I did that, that I let myself get out of control because I would think “well you only live once why not enjoy that piece of cake” and then here I go downing a piece of portillos chocolate cake like it was my birthday. So instead of getting healthy and making the right choices here I was for years having the mindset that “this is who I am, I’ll always be like this so learn to live with it” instead I should have been thinking more along the lines of… “yes em your beautiful and you have curves, embrace them, love them, and don’t be ashamed of them, but be healthy, understand that although you may never be small this doesn’t mean you can let yourself go, take care of your body so that you can really enjoy life”. 

I completely understand that I may never be small or petite, that I will likely always have chub on me and that’s ok…its not about the numbers this is about me getting healthy! I want to get healthy, I want to live a healthy lifestyle and that doesn’t necessarily mean getting down to a size 4.  Instead what I want is to not feel tired, I want to be happy, to love my body and its curves, I want to embrace being healthy and active, I want to be strong, to be an example, I want to be proud of my body and what it can do, and where it can take me, I want to be able to have a positive outlook when it comes to myself and my body and not be ashamed of it. 

I feel like there’s always such negativity towards our bodies, nothing ever seems to be good enough, we always want to be thinner, stronger, more lean, faster, taller, shorter, curvier.  But the beauty here is to really gain an understating that there is no such thing as a perfect body. IT DOESN’T EXIST. There’s no cookie cutter made for us to fit into, we are all different and unique, and that really is something beautiful. No person will ever be the same as me or as you. We’re so quick to judge ourselves, to give up, to not feel good enough but why? Why do we beat ourselves up? What good will that do us? Ill be the first to admit that there have been countless times I put myself down, it was never from my husband, family, or friends, it was always from myself. I would be the one to put myself down and be unhappy and unaccepting of who I was. But the reality is theres always the chance to make changes, to better ourselves, to make the right choices, to move forward and push through the uphill battles and the even greater silver lining here is that we're really never alone even when we feel it most. We have God by our side and when I feel I'm at my weakest I know I can stop what Im doing and set my focus on Him and know that he will strengthen me. He will help me through even my toughest battles even if right now is just getting past the 3rd week wall I always hit. 

please excuse the Kohler box...bathroom projects on its final stages...and yes thats logan playing in the background :) 

Yes this week has been very hard for me because the number on that scale didn’t drop as much as I’ve been seeing lately and it really didn’t feel good to see that.

Yes it was discouraging to not have lost yet another 6lbs but deep down I knew that this day would come.

So instead of focusing on what I considerer to be the hardest part of this week  and the feeling of letting myself down I'll celebrate that I was able to finish 3 kickboxing classes! Yes! THREE!! I tried something new that I never thought I would ever be able to do and I loved it!  I have seen my body be pushed harder than it has in a long time, its surprised myslef by being able to endure 3 of the most fun workouts that I've ever experienced! I shocked myself by actually finishing and not giving up and that’s something that I'm going to celebrate this week! 

I'm actually able to see the inches going way, Im able to feel the strength in my legs again that I haven't felt in years, that burning feeling in my abs, arms, and legs, are all signs that I'm getting stronger and what im noticing most this week is my body aching for more. I look forward to my next work out! That’s literally something I never thought I'd say. 

So even though the pounds may not have dropped as much as I have in the past 2 weeks there was still a little bit of a loss and my body is getting stronger day by day, I'm sticking to my diet and whats most important I’m not letting the negative thoughts discourage me from moving forward towards my goal. 

So yes a single pound was dropped this week bring my total to being down 13lbs in 3 weeks which is still an accomplishment but even more exciting is seeing my clothes fit better and seeing the INCHES go away! So lets start this 4th week on a good foot, a positive one and with plans to work just as hard as the last 3!