Dear Mom...

So growing up Mom would write us letters, these letters were filled with advice, with hard truths we needed to hear, with scripture, they were filled with guidance, compassion, and above all they were filled with love.  So when we would receive these letters (they were rare) you knew there was something serious she wanted to talk to you about. These letters meant that she wanted you to remember her words and not just listen for the moment and then go about your way... These letters meant that Mom had taken time out of her busy day to pray about us, to look up scripture for us, she poured out her heart to us, her worries, her concerns, her hopes for us on these sheets of paper. These letters were our eye openers and left a mark on our hearts. She also wouldn’t just hand us letters, no she wanted us to find them…she would place them in our bibles…and she would do this to see how long it would take us to find it…the longer it took to find her letter meant that it may have been a while since we opened our bibles…another reason a letter may have been warranted… So when I was asked to write a tribute about my mom I help but think that this was my time to write her a letter. So mom here is my letter to you. 

Dear Mom, 

As a teenager it may have been hard to believe all those people who have said that your mom will become your best friend when you're older, just wait and see. Let me tell you they were right! You are my best friend. You always answer my call everyday (yes to this day I will still make that 5 minute phone call to check and see how you are and your days been, it’s been what we do since high school) when I leave work or just feel like checking in, everyday either at 4:30 or 5.. You are always there to give advice when I needed and even when I think I don’t, yes at 30 I'm still your daughter and you still have tons of advice to give. I want you to know that your advice and opinion is still one that value and take to heart. You encourage me when I feel weak, and you push me to never give up. You pray for me still and you know exactly what to say when I need to hear it. Especially considering most of the time I need your tough love and to just be told to stop being scared and toughen up! You remind me that there’s nothing to worry about and that God is in control...cause yes my anxieties do tend to get the best of me and that’s been something I've been struggling with since college. But you’re always there no matter what even though when we were little and ask you where you were going your response was either "Ma duc pe luna" or "Honolulu" and us as kids believed you were really leaving on some far away adventure and we would beg to go with you…now I’ve used that line on Logan a few times…who of course got real curious and confused when he found out I was only going to take out the trash and not on some super cool adventure…but I now totally get that joke! But in reality you’re never too far away and always ready to listen and put your mom cape on.

I know that the past couple of years have not been easy on us as we faced some of our stormiest seasons. Throughout all those trials your faith has been constant, never wavering. You have shown me what it means to truly trust Gods plan and to let God work. From the shock of your heart attack to the surgeries following, to the diagnosis of cancer you stood strong and when most people who would have gone through all of that would have been angry, would have given up, you didn't. I can’t help but think of this specific bible verse when I think back on the last few years:

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”-Jeremiah 29:11

You had been positive through it all, you relied on your faith, on your trust in God that he has a greater plan for you. You fought and you fought hard! You have shown me what it means to be strong and fearless even during the darkest storms! One day while you were in recovery we were talking and you told me that you knew in your heart that God isn’t done with you and I believe you! I am so thankful that our prayers have been answered and continue to be answered because you’re still here with us and more than anything YOU'RE HEALTHY! 

"The impression that a praying mother leaves upon her children is life-long”

- Dwight L. Moody

You are such an amazing mom to each of your kids, to Robert, Ang, and myself. You have supported us to the fullest, pushing us to achieve our goals, whatever they may be. You have raised us to be strong, independent, to stand firm in who we are, to never give up. Thank you for the lessons you've taught us, for the love you showed us, and for the countless sacrifices you’ve made for us, for your patience, and constant prayer over each of us and for giving us the best childhood we could have asked for. A childhood that meant nights at the big park, countless hours spent at orchestra concerts, after school activities and soccer games, giving each of us the opportunities to grow. You actually let us make mistakes and be kids, teenagers and adults, so that we can learn and become better, because sometimes that’s how we learn best, sometimes you needed to let us learn the hard way in to really understand things in life. With that being said though you were always our safety net just in case we did fall too hard…you were always there and are always there to catch us.

You always made sure that we knew that God is our center and that we need to strive to live a life pleasing to him. You have taught us the importance of being thankful and humble, kind and honest. You have instilled so many characteristics in us so that we have been able to grow into the adults we are today. So Thank you for really being the best mom I could have ever been blessed with. I will tell you that I try so hard to use what I’ve learned from you to be the best mom I can be for my boys and I am so grateful that I had such an amazing example of what a Godly mother is through you! 

When it comes to being a grandma though...I have no words! I can only say that Logan lights up each and every time he sees you. He loves you so much and I can see why. You always make time to play, to go to the park, to take him to his favorite store...which happens to be walgreens...and the only walgreens he wants to go to is Bunis walgreens...the other ones aren’t the same. Even at the age of 2 he knew as we got closer to your house that we weren’t in CHICAGO...we were in BUNIS city! When he does get to your house he walks in like its his, announcing BUNI IM HERE LETS PLAY!! and without fail there you are ready to go! Buni you are his hero! You have taught Logan so much and you are literally ready to move mountains for him. I can only imagine how much more love is going to come your way when Logans brother arrives!!  

Mitch Alboms said:

“I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know”

Mom you are amazing and I can’t thank you enough for all you do not only for me and my little family but for ang, robert, and dad. Thank you for your patience, your understanding, your support, and reminders to be strong and brave, for your humor and for loving us the way only you can. You are really our rock, our example of what it means to have faith, to be strong, to fight every battle you’re faced with fearlessly, thank you for everything. I love you. 

Let Go and Let God....Part Three

...fast forward a few weeks we've made it to the 8 week mark! In we go for our first official prenatal visit. If I were to tell you I wasn't nervous or scared I'd be lying...but right beside me was Moe who I thank the Lord for because he's always there to remind me that everything is ok that all we need is faith and God will always see us through. So first things first we get an ultrasound done to make sure that this little one is growing as they should be. Laying there holding my breathe I wait for the the screen to light up and the tech quickly finds our little miracle! With the biggest sigh of relief and silent prayer of thankfulness there was our baby. The child that not only Moe & I have prayed for but that Logan has been asking God for as well. Our healthy beautiful baby with its strong clear heartbeat right there on the screen for us to see. Its beyond amazing that from something so small we couldn't even see anything BUT an empty sac a few weeks prior to now seeing a little human growing, a little heart beating strong, a little someone bouncing inside me. We were in awe of Gods merciful hand. 

All went well at that visit and off we went hearts so full of joy nothing could bring us down. Now we just waited, waited patiently to get past this first trimester. We decided to wait on telling the world about our amazing news until after we passed that 12 week mark. So for the next 4 weeks we continued to pray, asking God to protect this child, to help this little one grow strong and healthy, under his protection, his love, grace & mercy just as He did with Logan. Those 4 weeks went by as best the can...feeling exhausted, nauseousness here and there, but overall it went well. 

Two things that my doctor did mention that worried me a bit was that my blood pressure was a bit high and my sugar boarderline. Now if theres one thing I know, its that I have horrible white coat syndrome...yes this is a real thing. Whenever I'm in any type of doctors office my blood pressure goes up and then once I'm gone it drops within normal ranges. So after mentioning my doctors concerns to my mom she let me know she had an extra BP machine at home that I can keep to monitor myself over the next month. I basically wanted to show the doctor that my BP is normal as long as I'm not in the office...I also started checking my sugar levels as well again to show her that I am within range. 

As we got to week 12 a bit of spotting came back and a wave of worry came over me. All the while Moe being calm reminded me to have faith and that everything would be ok. We were a week out from our next doctors visit but I still decided to email them and let them know. A day later the nurse calls me and says to come in early since they have an opening the day after. So here we go our 12 week visit. Driving there again with a heart full of prayer & excited to see our little one again since an ultrasound was ordered as part of our sequential screening. Just as soon as the tech turns on the ultrasound machine there's our sweet babe, active as can be, a strong beautiful heartbeat, and most of all a healthy, measuring perfectly. 

One thing I will say is that at the beginning of 2016 I said to myself and to God that this was the year that I would let go. I would put my own plans, my own idea of the "perfect time", my anxieties aside and I would let Him work. I knew at the bottom of my heart that God was not done growing our family and my prayer was that 2016 would be the year that our prayers as a family for a sweet little one would be answered. I had faith stronger than Ive ever had and I put my trust completely in Gods plan. This sweet little one reminds me daily that God is here with us, he hears our prayers, and he keeps his promises. His timing is absolutely perfect and WE as a family could not be more grateful for our newest addition to join us this August! 2016 was really about letting go and letting God work, personally needing to learn how to fully trust his will and how to truly have faith that he will never let us go. 

So although I've been MIA for a while Ill fill you in on how our pregnancy is going in upcoming posts!